Musings from my notebook, while sitting in a cafe in Feilding, contemplating life…
A blank page. Why is it so hard to start?
I read online this morning that a fairly credible scientist somewhere predicts we humans have at most, ten years left on this planet before we cause our own extinction. Climate change, wild weather patterns, environmental destruction, disappearing potable water resources, overpopulation etc, etc, the depressing list goes on and on.
You would think those reasons would give me some urgency to fill up this notebook … but, I find it all a bit hard to swallow. I’m pinning my hopes on the dream that not only do we have the collective intelligence and technology, but the self-preserving passion to prevent our final performance from becoming the tragedy that scientist predicts.
Hell – ten years! I will finally have my youngest child almost independent and be ready to actually start doing the things ‘I have always wanted to do’ in ten years time. So I will be damned if I’m going to believe that the big ole Bar Manager in the sky is going to call ‘Closing Time’ on me when I’m just warming up to party!
My life thus far has been a continual process of surviving, just getting through the next day, next week, next year. Making plans, goals, dreams to motivate myself to hang in there when times are tough. To keep hoping when the nights are lonely. To believe and have faith that if I work hard and treat people nicely, one day, karma will be good to me, or at the very least cut me a little slack and give me a turn at happiness.
But I cannot control what others do in the world. I cannot alleviate all the bad they do to this world and its creatures – no matter how hard I try. Even up-skilling and educating myself more in Politics hasn’t helped a lot. I’m just a tiny bee trying to sting our corrupt leaders in the butt. But to be effective – I know we need the whole swarm to sting them along side me, and sadly most of the swarm of humanity is so damn busy getting jolly off their own royal jelly they either don’t care what the future holds, or don’t want to know.
So I continue to write my books, to love my kids (even when they’re a bit of a pain, then I just love my wine a little more). I try to find reasons to laugh in life. I try to see the good that some humans are still capable of when disaster strikes, as it has recently with the 7.8 earthquake which decimated Kaikoura and other parts of New Zealand.
What keeps me going is my dreams. To live a simple, peaceful, responsible, happy, stress-free life in the country with those I love nearby, and to enjoy good food and a laugh now and then.
It’s not that much to expect from life, is it?
Time is precious. It cannot be bought. Don’t waste it, but don’t give up on enjoying it either. If you don’t hear from me again before December 25th, Merry Christmas to you all. Stay safe and find a little pearl of happiness where ever you can. xox